Isabel Spellman’s Guide to Etiquette by Isabel Spellman & Lisa Lutz

Author:Isabel Spellman & Lisa Lutz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Boarding the Plane

We’ve all been there. The flight attendant tells you that if you don’t speed it up, the captain will not be out of the gate in time. You might miss your departure, and the flight could be delayed. And still, there are half a dozen people who refuse to check their bags or find their seat and the next thing you know, you’re an hour late and you’ve missed your connecting flight because one tool didn’t want to be inconvenienced ten minutes and pick up his luggage on the jetway at the end of the flight.

As with driving and everything else in life, remember: It’s totally uncool to inconvenience ten other people just to make life easier for yourself. I’m not going to get into the ethics of whether one should sacrifice one’s life for the life of thirty others, but it is absolutely a no-brainer that you can sacrifice ten minutes of your life for the betterment of an entire airplane. Okay, so maybe I just did. If you do not agree with me on this, stop reading immediately and seek medical attention. Seriously, there’s something deeply, deeply wrong with you and it must be fixed immediately.

I have come to believe that it might be necessary for people to take a course on deplaning at least once in their life. The elderly, the pregnant, toddlers, and parents of toddlers are exempt from this gripe. But how hard is it to pull your luggage out of the overhead bin and walk down an aisle? And why, after a five-hour flight, aren’t you eager to escape the recycled air, tight quarters, and idiot chatter of your aircraft prison? Why can’t this be the one time in your life you hustle?

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